Creating Mr Perfect
by amandajbruce
Summary: Lilly and Miley discuss the perfect guy instead of doing homework. Takes place right before the episode "You're So Vain, You Probably Think This Zit Is About You."


A/N: Oliver does not actually appear in this story, but he is mentioned. I wanted to try writing for Miley again, so this story is all her and Lilly being teenage girls.

Creating Mr. Perfect

"Mi pluma es su pluma," Lilly said to Miley, handing her a blue pen.

"Thanks."

The two girls were sprawled out on Miley bedroom floor. Lilly had her Spanish text book open in front of her and was busy scribbling sentences down using all of the school-supply-related terms on their current vocabulary list. Miley was supposed to be doing the same thing, but she was now taking a quiz from the pages of "Tween Weekly."

"Miley, we're supposed to be doing our Spanish homework." Lilly sat up and pulled her blond hair up into a messy bun while she leaned over Miley's shoulder.

"I know, but I'm finding out who my celebrity boyfriend should be." She marked another letter on the page.

"Hannah's or Miley's?" Lilly questioned. When she did not receive a response, she added, "so who is it?"

"It says someone who loves dramatic intrigue, loves to shop on Rodeo Drive, and keeps me on my toes. Keeps me on my toes? What does that mean?" Miley flicked to the last page to see who fit that description.

"Oh, so a boy you." Lilly nodded her head in understanding.

"These things are always wrong anyway. Last month it said my perfect best friend was Hannah Montana. Ha. She can't be my best friend!" Miley tossed the magazine aside.

"You don't need a celebrity anyway. There are plenty of cute boys at school." Lilly noticed Miley did not answer her question, and resolved to find out the answer on her own later. She reached up and grabbed her friend's yearbook from the nightstand next to the bed, then paused. "Why is last year's yearbook next to your bed?"

"I was doing some reading last night. You know, Becca wrote some very nice things about me last year. So did Todd, I think. I'm not sure, 'cause he writes like a dog with a paint brush." Lilly looked at Miley in confusion, but decided to take her word for it.

"Yeah, Todd's sweet, but never has any idea what's going on. He tried to copy my spelling test once in the fifth grade, but he put my name on it." The girls laughed as Lilly turned the pages until she found their pictures.

"Why does all that dumb have to be wrapped up in all that pretty? Miley wondered.

"He isn't that cute." Lilly's eyes stopped on the boy pictured next to Todd.

"Still crushin' on Lucas, huh?" Miley asked her and tried to look at the next page.

"Yeah, but he has a girlfriend." Lilly sighed. "Too bad Johnny moved to Arizona. I always did like looking at the back of his head in math class."

"I know," Miley agreed. "His hair was so soft. Well, it looked soft anyway." She pointed to one of the candid pictures of some of the boys playing basketball at the beach. "What do you think of Cooper? He's kind of cute."

"He is still your brother's best friend, right? Brother from another mother? That's just weird." Lilly shuddered.

"I'm not saying I would date him. He's just not horrible for a friend of Jackson's." Miley's cheeks colored a little at the thought.

"I guess. But he does that weird thing with his eyes when he gets nervous. He looks at everything in the room, except you. It's like he's a bunny trying to escape." Lilly's hands came up in front of her face and she imitated a hopping rabbit. The two girls dissolved into giggles. "Besides," she added once she calmed down, "he's kicked me out of, like, four movies. I liked him better when he used to sneak me in for free."

"Well, in his defense, you did start bringing Oliver with you." Miley kept turning the pages, going passed their class until she found the year above them.

"Miley, I wasn't done looking," Lilly protested, ignoring the insinuation that she and Oliver were incapable of watching an entire movie in peace.

"Older boys are always cuter," was the response she heard.

The two girls spent the next twenty minutes talking about every boy they knew older than them, with the exception of Miley's brother, of course. The yearbook lay forgotten at Lilly's side, and Miley managed to find something wrong with every male specimen Lilly suggested, except one: Gabe.

"Gabe's awesome in the water," Lilly told Miley. "Have you seen him surf?"

"I know. He's on the swim team too. Jackson said he's like a dolphin!" At Lilly's raised eyebrows, Miley explained, "he was dating this girl for a while who was totally in to water sports."

"Yeah, now that makes more sense."

"Hey there girls, what are you up to?" A deep southern voice asked from the doorway to the bedroom.

"Hi Mr. Stewart."

"Hey Daddy, just doing our Spanish homework." Miley gestured to the text book on the floor in front of her that she had not so much as glanced at for the better part of an hour.

"Yeah," Lilly chimed in, "I was just explaining the difference between 'ser' and 'estar' to her again. She's still having a little trouble." She smiled encouragingly, and then bit the inside of her cheek to swallow the giggle that was bubbling to the surface.

"Lilly is so much better at this language stuff than I am," Miley told her father through gritted teeth.

"Okay. Lilly, if you want to stay for dinner, we're having southern fried fish in about an hour." If Mr. Stewart noticed the yearbook by Lilly's left hand, he did not say anything.

"Thanks, but I already have dinner plans. The last Friday of every month, Oliver's dad makes pizza from scratch. I haven't missed his deep dish chili cheese since I was eight."

Miley's and her father's noses both scrunched up in disgust, and Mr. Stewart warned her, "make sure you take some antacids after that." The Stewarts had been invited for pizza night a year ago, and had never gone back. Lilly just laughed as he made his way back downstairs.

"I guess we should get back to Spanish before you have to go." Miley sighed and pushed her yearbook away. She pulled a new sheet of paper from her notebook, and managed to get down five sentences, with Lilly's help, but the sixth read "El hombre acerca de mi armario es muy bueno."

"You can't say a guy is 'muy bueno.' You'll get points taken off." Lilly rolled her eyes, but perked up at Miley's next words.

"I know… but I was just thinking… wouldn't it be awesome if you could make the perfect guy?" She had a dreamy expression on her face. "Think about it. If you could take all the good parts from all the guys you know and put them together, it would be amazing!"

"Okay." Lilly decided to play along. "So, what would you take from him?" She pulled the yearbook back toward them, flipping the pages back to their year and pointed to a random guy she did not know.

"Hmm…" Miley thought for a second. "He has a cute smile. "What about him?" She pointed another boy out to Lilly.

"He's in my English class. He has such great skin. I've never seen him with a zit."

"What about Oliver?" Miley questioned when her gaze fell on their other best friend's picture.

"Oliver?!" Lilly sat up in surprise. "I don't know. He's Oliver. What about you?" She watched Miley anxiously, feeling like this conversation could go very badly.

"Well… definitely not his nose. I mean, it's a little weird that one of his nostrils is bigger than the other."

"Come on, Miley, no one would ever notice that."

"You did. You're the one that told me." Miley said to her pointedly.

"Yes, but… I've known him forever, and he was mean to me that day."

"True. Hmm… I wouldn't keep his eyes either." Miley considered the boy in the picture.

"What's wrong with his eyes?" Now, Lilly really was surprised. She was torn between defending her best friend and hearing what Miley had to say.

"They're so shifty. He always looks like he's up to no good."

Lilly could not help but laugh and said, "that's because he spends so much time helping us out with your crazy plans. You look pretty shifty a lot too."

"I guess so. I still don't know what I would keep. You were right. He's just, Oliver, you know? What about you?"

"You were the one that picked him!" Lilly exclaimed. Miley gave her a look, so she took a deep breath and really considered the question. "I guess I would keep his jokes." She was careful to stay away from the physical.

"What?"

"Or maybe his skateboarding skills."

"Again, what?" Miley was disappointed. After all, they were supposed to be building the perfect guy, and Oliver was never that funny, and he tended to fall over things a lot.

"Come on, Miley. You can't deny that as stupid as some of his jokes are, they always make you laugh." Miley smiled and realized Lilly was right.

"But the skateboarding? He falls over everything."

Lilly hesitated for a second, then answered, "Yeah, I guess you're right. Scratch that." She looked at her watch. "Man, my mom's going to be here soon! I'll see you at the beach tomorrow?"

"Of course. Where else would I be on a sunny Saturday?" Miley quipped, and helped Lilly pack up her things.

Lilly had yet to tell Miley that Oliver was the one who first taught her how to skateboard. It was never her fault that she happened to be so much better at it than him.

"Miley, let's not tell Oliver about building the perfect guy. You know how sensitive he gets."

"Yeah, yeah, I know. He has feelings." She dismissed Lilly's concerns with a wave of her hand.

Of course, a few days later, Miley forgot all about Oliver's feelings when she tried to convince Lilly to wear her glasses after her contacts were devoured by her dog, and Lilly was reminded, yet again, that Oliver was not the perfect guy. After all, would the perfect guy worry about uneven nostrils? Well, maybe at fourteen he would.


End file.
